Friendliness between Strangers
It's funny how cultural differences can occur in the most unexpected ways!
Most people who have traveled to different countries realize that it can be easier to strike up conversations with people from certain cultures than from others. The Americans and Irish, for example, have the reputation of being particularly open and friendly, whereas the Swedes and Norwegians have the reputation of being more reserved.
I have lived in several different countries for extended periods of time and think I am fairly culturally sensitive and aware, but I was completely unprepared for an event that occurred in Austria in 2015.
This is the story.
About 6 months after moving to Vienna, I discovered the online website of a Verein, or club, for Austrian singles who organize all kinds of activities to do together. One of their events consisted of a long weekend at the Gasperinghof Hotel in the village of Gerlos, Austria. (Gerlos is located in the Tyrolian Alps just east of Innsbruck.)
I was unable to participate with the group at that time, but I thought the hotel looked lovely and decided to make it the destination for my first week-long holiday in Austria.
The journey involved taking a normal train from Vienna to Jenbach (near Innsbruck). There I was to switch to an old-fashioned narrow-gauge train up the mountains to the village of Zell am Ziller. From there, I would take a bus a short distance to Gerlos. (Unfortunately, I accidentally got on a non-stop train to Munich and had to backtrack from there to Innsbruck, but that is another story!)
Once I finally made it to Gerlos, I was thrilled with the hotel and the beautiful surroundings. My room was bright and cheerful, there was a wonderful indoor swimming pool, a spa, and a dining room that served delicious food.
On the first evening, I learned that I had an assigned table for every meal. I also learned that ALL of the guests in the hotel that week consisted of either couples or families. I had assumed there would be some singles staying in the hotel as well, but I was wrong.
I also discovered that the couples and families kept to themselves and were not particularly open to conversations with a stranger. Which gave me a much better understanding of why there is a need for Vereins in Austria where singles can plan trips and travel together.
Although the staff were really friendly, I was basically alone, with no one to talk to, for the entire week. Which I will admit was not much fun.
Except that I decided to participate one day in a guided walk up a mountain to a 200-year-old abandoned goat herder’s hut. There were three couples in the group—all from Germany—and the guide and me. We headed out from the hotel and soon began climbing up a mountain path with absolutely gorgeous views.
As we walked, we all talked with each other. Once we got to the hut, our guide brought out a sack of potatoes that the women began to peel while sitting on an outside picnic table in the sun.
Our guide donned a chef’s hat and an apron and gave another hat and apron to one of the men. They then lit a fire in the wood burning stove and began to fry the potatoes, sausages and sauerkraut we were to eat for lunch Everybody was laughing and talking and drinking beer and having a great time.
We all sat on the tables in the sun to enjoy our delicious meal and then eventually made our way down the mountain again back to the hotel.
That evening, I entered the dining room and took my normal assigned seat.
I watched as one of the couples from the afternoon excursion entered the dining room and sat down next to one of the other couples from the outing, just across a narrow aisle from my table. To my astonishment, they did not say one word to each other—or to me. Instead, both couples acted as though none of us had ever met!
Inwardly, I laughed about my own cultural assumptions and expectations. If the couples had been Americans or Irish, we would all have been talking and laughing with each other as though we were old friends. But the German couples clearly had a completely different culture, one that valued privacy at the dining table over conviviality.
After this experience, I made sure that I did not participate in any week-long holidays in an Austrian resort again by myself. Luckily, I met Gerhard a year after that, and together we traveled to gorgeous places all over Austria.
It's still hard to believe that no one talked to other strangers or to you for the whole week! That would never have happened in Italy, where I lived for 26 years!
Way to put yourself out there. I’ve done a LOT of solo female travel and it’s not easy but it’s always worth it!!! Glad you met your guy ❤️